The Mysterious Anti-Denmark Crusader (mertle) wrote,
The Mysterious Anti-Denmark Crusader
mertle

Hvedekiks, overtrukket med mælkechokolade.

Yesterday I went and did a criminal ID computer sketch thingo. It was weird how they just cut the eyes, nose, chin and hair from a bunch of mugshots, then I had to pick some and they'd put them together using photoshop. Actually turned out rather well though, I thought.

Then today I had to go through a book of mugshots to look for the dude who mugged me. Or, as the detective called it, a "folder of skinnies". After I had gone through it once, I asked if I could have a second look, to which the detective replied "Sure mate, take as long as you want. Take an hour! I just wanna catch the black cunt!" Wahey, racism overload!

In other news, I'm looking to move. I'm hoping for either Richmond or Abbotsford, but anywhere away from the suicide flats I currently live across from would be great.

And I got a new phone, but the same number. I have no-ones numbers in there though, so fill me in honchos.



1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions

1. "I'm gonna smash the fuckin' granny out of that!"

2. "Now here's what I want you to do - I want you to chase this little chicken."

3. "So I hear dad's dead. Hey, is that egg nog?"

4. "Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel."

5. "Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bahamian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!"

6. "How's it goin', Frood-dude?"

7. - Hey, what kind of belt do you have?
- Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like?

8. "We got a guy with things comin' out of his hands, we got another guy who freezes stuff, and then there's a man, who as far as I can tell, is made out of electricity. I mean, how did he disappear like that? What is goin' on here? WHO IS THIS GUY?"

9. "Nigga, what you mean you ain't skinny. Motherfucker so skinny he can hula hoop through a Cheerio"

10. "It isn't even dented? Oh shit, what are we going to do now?"

11. "Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace."

12. "I ain't your pal, dickface."

13. "I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!"

14. "I bought seafood today - bloody everything! Just wanted to put a smile on her face. Think she'd let me? Not a chance. All I said was that I got laid off. Anybody would've thought I'd told her my prick had dropped off!"

15. "What? What? What is it? What? If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple - what is it I'm supposed to do? Make you a Margarita? SHUT UP! SHUT UP! This has been going on for two and a half hours! BE QUIET!"

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