The Mysterious Anti-Denmark Crusader (mertle) wrote,
The Mysterious Anti-Denmark Crusader

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The film unfolds around the return of three ethnic Greeks

I'm bored, and I like countdowns. So here are my top ten cartoon villains from my childhood who, frankly, were a bit shit.


VultureMan - Thundercats

Why is he so weirdly naked all the time? SCIENTISTS WEAR CLOTHES.


Zartan - G.I. Joe

Look at him, he's the bastard lovechild of Nightwolf and fucking Glenn Danzig. And his whole deal was his killer makeup application abilities, allowing him to disguise himself as ANYONE AT ALL! But if he set foot in the sun, his powers were useless. So basically, he was great at impersonating Sgt. Slaughter at dingy nightclubs, in an attempt to score ladies and free drinks.


The Mandarin - IronMan

I tried to stay away from any major lead-villains, but fuck, this guy is too weak to leave out. HE IS JUST A RICH CHINESE DUDE, THEREFORE HE IS EVIL. Yellow peril and all that.

Also, strangely green. I think that picture is from newer cartoon than the one I remember, but he's equally shit now as he was then, I'm sure.


The Rhino - Spiderman.

The only picture I could find of him was this one, which handily summarises my entire beef with the guy. Maybe he was menacing and xTUFFx in the comics, but whenever he rocked up on the show, you'd just know that he'd get his fucking head stuck in a wall at some point in the episode. EVERY TIME.


Cactus Head - Bravestarr.

A robot with a cactus for a head.


Dr BadVibes - C.O.P.S.

Evil genius scientist-type, but he can't figure out a better medium to use as a brain-protecting shield than glass. Also, looks and sounds like a cross between an Jewish grandma and an old fashion designing queen.


Mr Sinister - X-Men


Scourge - Transformers

It's the fucking Mandarin all over again. Fuck the Sweeps too.


Rat King - TMNT

In searching for this picture, I came across one of Shredder fucking April O'Neill from behind, whilst saying "I AM YOUR WOOZY-OOZY CUTIE LITTLE BRAIN!" Nothing more has to be said.


TrapJaw - MOTU.

In the comics, he was really mental and murderous. In the show, he just bumbled along and ate rocks. And why couldn't he just, you know, hold a different weapon/utensil when needed, rather than swapping over his entire arm? Guy makes Beastman look good.

What an incredible waste of an hour.

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I like the way the last guy is taking a yawn. Nap time! Maybe he will swap to pillow arm soon.

Ilu even though rhino didn't show up for me.
It'll catch on as a nickname, I swear.
Vulture man looks like a furry. :(